My Miracle

Before you were concieved, I wanted you.

Before you were born, I loved you.

Before you were here an hour, I would die for you.

This is the miracle of life.

~ Maureen Hawkins ~

~ the first time I held Cooper ~

Today is my baby's birthday.  He is 4 years old.  I truly cannot believe that it has been 4 years since the day that I walked into the hospital and my dream of giving birth for the 3rd time finally came true.  I had never hoped for anything so much in my life.  That is the day that all of the tears and pain of loss and the overwhelming desires of my heart were justified in some small way.  It was the day that my heart began to heal.  It was the day that a new chapter of my life began.  A wonderful chapter where my little family was added to in the most phenomenal, miraculous way.  Cooper.  All 4 of us wanted him desperately.  The moment that I saw him for the first time - I don't think that I will ever forget it.  The few seconds that I held him for the first time are burned into my memory.  I can recall them like they were yesterday.  Through the fear and the pain and the anxiety of that morning in the OR, I kept telling myself, "This is it! The moment that you have dreamed of for so long.  Your prayers have been answered.  Your baby is about to be born.  Remember this!  Remember this!  Remember this!"  I burned it deep into my memory, and now, 4 years later, I am so thankful.  He was, and is, truly a miracle.  

~ our family on the day that Cooper was born ~

Baby Boy, 

You are a gift of immeasurable proportions.  God gave you to me to help heal my soul, and you have done just that.  I have enjoyed every single moment of your babyhood and your toddlerhood.  I have not taken a second of it for granted.  You are everything that I dreamed of for all of those years, and I am so thankful that I was blessed with such a miracle as you.  You have grown into a funny little boy.  You bring light and laughter to our family every day.  I am thankful for you more now than I was 4 years ago.  I love you so much.

You'll always be my baby, 

Mommy

~ that afternoon when he came to me from the NICU ~