The Most Awkward, Hilarious, Embarrassing Parenting Moment I've Had In A While

Tonight Corey took the kids to a special NBA event in Dallas. He was working down that way today, so instead of him coming all the way home then going back into the city, I met him for dinner then he and the kids left for their special night together. We were at a restaurant in a swanky, corporate (not too many kids) part of town where we were seated at a big, circular table. We all had placed our order and just as the waiter was writing down the last thing, Cooper leaned up on the table, looked the waiter straight in the eye and in a serious voice with a serious look on his face he quoted a favorite movie line...

"Keep the change, you filthy animal."

OH. MY. GOSH!

I felt like I was paralyzed! I was sitting across the table from him and could not really do anything except sit there and pray that the waiter had not heard him. But, he laughed... so I know that he did. I think that it was an "I don't really know what that kid just said to me." kind of laugh, and I'm pretty sure he didn't speak English very well, so hopefully he was not offended by my little movie quoting boy! All 4 of us - Corey, Allie, Jack, and I - were doing our best to not laugh at him. None of us succeeded! We were all so embarrassed and thought he was hilarious at the same time.

This boy! He is going to keep me humble.

All 3 of my kids are "quoters". That is the language that they speak. Movie lines and dialogue from shows. They even like to recall some real conversations over and over again. So, I should not be surprised that Cooper spoke a line from the movie Home Alone to the waiter tonight... but who would think that I would need to coach him on when he can and cannot use his terrific memory of all movies that he has ever seen? Until tonight, I'd never thought of such a thing.

I did tell him, after the waiter walked away, that not everyone understands our family's jokes... I have recently had to start teaching him this concept like, for instance, when he went into his brother's school last week and announced to the principal that he got a "pull my finger" toy for his birthday... (You might want to keep that to yourself, little guy.) I'll keep trying to teach him what is appropriate, but knowing him, he now has a new laugh-getting tool in his arsenal that is going to be tough to tame. 'Cause getting laughs... that is the important thing in life when you are 4 and your name is Cooper.

I'm scared. Very scared!

So, I'd like to take this opportunity to go ahead and apologize to all who will come across his hilarious and wildly inappropriate jokes in the future.

My dad says he needs to become an actor... and I'm not sure that he is wrong.

Sheesh!