I miss you.

How can someone miss something that they have never really had? But I do. It has been three years ago today since I had your tiny body growing inside of mine. Since I saw your little beating heart on that screen and was filled with hope. Since that awful, awful moment that I held you in my hand. You were perfect. You looked just like every picture of a growing baby in the books. But you were different. You were mine. I loved you from the moment I knew that I conceived you. I dreamed a lifetime of dreams for you. When they were all washed away in that sad moment, part of me was washed away too. I have never been the same. I have tried to get back to "normal", but I cannot quit thinking about what you could have been. What you should have been. I am thankful though for the things that your life brought into mine. I am a more compassionate person because of you. I love more deeply because of you. Thank you my dear, sweet baby. I love and miss you. Until heaven...