Family

The family.  We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.  

~Erma Bombeck

Today was the last of our holiday get-togethers with family.  For almost a week I have been with one person or another from my family.  It has been great... but like my mom said, "Being with you is like being on a roller coaster ride."  The past week has truly felt like a roller coaster ride for me.  I have felt the anticipation like when you are climbing the big first hill, the happiness that the fun ride brings, the excitement like when you realize that you are defying logic and gravity,  and the "What is going on here?" that sometimes crosses your mind as you are tossed from here to there and upside down.  

There were times this week that I laughed so hard that I cried like when my brother stripped down to his long johns... without warning us that he was about to loose his pants... and when my sister read a short-story that I wrote for her for Christmas.  There were times this week that I cried tears of joy like when I received one of the most touching gift that I have ever received from my parents.  There were times this week that I wanted to stop time and savor the moment like when I held on to my Grandma's hand for an extra few seconds and gave her one more kiss when I said goodbye to her.  There were times this week that I felt that "proud mama" feeling like when I heard my kids' voices as they sang.  There were times this week when I felt that "mama bear" feeling like when someone else would reprimand my children or when my baby got locked in a room with his 2 year old cousin.  There were times this week when I felt a thrill as that little 2 year old girl wanted me, her MiMi, to hold her.  There were times this week that I cried tears of exhaustion like when I stayed up late in to the night to prepare Christmas gifts.  There were times this week that I cried tears of sorrow like when I realized, yet again, how much I miss my Granny & Pap and how I wish that my kids could know them and I could talk to them and hear their voices just one more time.  There were times this week that I felt disbelief and thankfulness as I received something of my Granny's that took my breath away and left me speechless.  

There were times throughout this week that I was so saddened and confused by the choices that some have made to distance themselves from their family.  As far as I see it, nothing can take the place of family, and to choose not to embrace that special gift... I don't understand it. At other times I sat and thought to myself, "Where did these people come from?"  "Where did I come from?"  We are all so different yet we are all so connected and in love with each other and with the idea of what family is and can be.   It is hard to think of yourselves as a unit, us, we... and reconcile that with the idea that we are not just "us" anymore.  We are all individuals who have added individuals that have added more individuals.  We all have learned and are learning how to live our own lives in our own homes with our own families, and sometimes meshing all 5 of those homes feels a bit cramped and uncomfortable. But the fact remains, we are family.  We may all be a little different, and there may be some growing pains as we grow and change, but nothing... nothing... takes the place of a family.

So, I leave this roller coater ride of a holiday with a bit of whiplash and a mild concussion, but I would do it all over again to experience the love of a family.  Not just any family ~ My Family.