Okay, maybe not in such a "nanny nanny boo boo" tone, but really...
Yesterday I had an amazing conversation with a friend that is in the middle of giving up her life as she knows it to become a long term missionary. She is single, and she is going alone. To another country. Alone, people! At this point, there are still several things about her next couple of years that are up in the air for her, and I mentioned to her that I was impressed with her level of contentment (that word ring a bell?) and peace in the midst of all of the unknowns that she is facing right now. I told her about my overwhelming desire for contentment at this point in my life and shared some of my thoughts on where I am in my journey. After a minute, she said, "You know, the only way I ever got to this point is by totally surrendering my 'fear of man'... what people think about me." Does it matter that she is a single woman going to a somewhat dangerous situation and at this point does not have "all of her ducks in a row"? How un-American of her! Or does it matter that she has surrendered her heart and life to Someone that has a better master plan for her life than she could ever come up with? Why would anyone care to make a judgement on that? More importantly, why would she care that they were making that judgment? That is the point. She doesn't. And in that, she is content and happy and peaceful. Full of peace. She is waiting but not floundering as she does. Amazing!
So, after our conversation I was thinking... do I have a problem with this 'fear of man' thing? At first thought, I instinctively said no. I don't care if you think that I am less than you because of the car I drive or the house that I live in or the fact that I would rather live in my PJs with my hair in a pony tail. My life is not about pleasing "you". In theory. But do I care if you think that I am kind enough, spiritual enough, have the right priorities, have well behaved children, am making the right decisions, etc., etc.??? Well, kind of. Once I got to thinking about my friend's words, I started remembering all of the times that I have had these conversations in my head where I tried to justify what I am doing (or not doing). Things that are not black & white or right & wrong. Times when I am not sure of the why & why nots but I am searching for the answers and trying to live in God's will... Those are the times that I feel the most stressed and discontented and scared that I am being judged. But here's the deal... if I am searching for God's will and doing my best to live in it, why would I worry about what this person or that has to say about it... or even think about it. Who are they to judge? God himself is the only one that knows my heart, and He is the only one that I have to answer to. In the mean time, I am thankful for the people that I have in my life here on earth to spur me on, brainstorm with me, and pray with me. But judge me? No thanks!
So here is the challenge of my week... live without fearing (or even wondering) what anyone except my Heavenly Father thinks about me. And here is the excitement of my week... He spoke to me yesterday and told me that it is okay to live that way!
5 comments:
That's really neat. I can relate to that struggle - I don't care what people think of the superficial things but I care a lot about what people think about the deeper things, the things that affect who I am as a person (the mothering, the character issues). I often think of that verse "what is mere man ..." to try to discourage those thoughts. Good luck on this continuing journey ... great things await.
Excellent, straight up word Amy. Man, I needed to hear that. Speaks right to what I'm going through. Thanks for being real girl!
Well isn't that a good word (you picking up what I am laying down?) For real though I am all about trying to not care what people think. I had gotten pretty good at it before I became a mommy and then all that comparison stuff reared its ugly head again. I have just recently come to the conclusion that I will do what is best for me and my little family and not stress the small stuff (and it is all small stuff). It is good to be reminded that I am doing the right thing. Thanks for the reminder.
At some level what you have said sounds a bit harsh, but upon thinking about the Truth found within your words, I say, "Amen sister!" We should all live a life accountable only to what God says and the principles He has given us to live by. Like you said, if that is our desire (to live for God and not the approval of man) and if we are pressing in to do this very thing, then may the judgment of people be far from tormenting our self esteem or confidence. There will always be those who will take it upon themselves to pass judgment, but I pray those faithless words would roll off us like water off a ducks back. Thank you for this good and challenging word Amy. Love you.
True, true. I love ya!
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