Well, so far this parenting-thing has been pretty easy with little Cooper. Don't get me wrong, I have earned my title with him... bounced him for a few months straight (it seemed), dealt with my share of sleepless nights, and have handled the "normal" suff that comes with mommyhood/ babyhood/ toddlerhood... but all in all he has been my easiest baby and toddler. He has been the only one that I could say "no" to that seemed to care that I had spoken... before I had to tap his hand. If I ever did have to do that, it was once or twice then he had the concept down... "Oh yeah, we don't touch the fireplace." The other two had to be reminded. And reminded. And reminded. And still they were sneaky little things that tried to get away with things when I was not looking. But not Cooper. The other two were climbing out of their cribs (and in Jack's case, carseat) by this age. But not Cooper. So, I was hoping that that was his permanent personality. That he was going to remain "the easiest child on earth". But this past week, he gave me a glimpse into the past... and hopefully not the future. He threw THE fit. If you are a parent of anyone over the age of 3, you know what I am talking about... you have probably forgotten it a bit - kind of like childbirth - but you have a memory of your precious little baby turning into a little monster, don't you?!? Now, Cooper has had other fits in his life, but until this week I had forgotten what a 2 year-old fit looked like. Sounded like. And in some cases, felt like. Oh, I have seen my fair share of them, but somehow, by the grace of God, I had forgotten what all the experiennce of THE fit entailed. It starts with an irrational child upset about an irrelivant issue. There is no talking them down from it. It has to run its course... which often includes flopping, thrashing, throwing punches, snot, tears, and loud LOUD screaming... not just crying, folks. Yes, that is what I experienced my sweet baby doing this week - a few times. With the other two, I would get so upset during THE fit. I would try to make it stop. Make them stop embarassing me. Make them obey me... and STOP! This time around, I realize that he must go through this stage. It is a part of him testing the boundries. Learning the rules. Seeing what I will do when he becomes a crazy-fit-throwing-baby. This time, I have decided that I get to point the boundries out and walk away. I don't have to sit there and let his fit throw me into my own. It was my "Ah-ha moment", as Oprah would say. I am hoping that by coming to this new revelation, I will nip this phase in the bud a bit - and my sweet Cooper will return to me even sweeter than before. Hopefully! If you see me with mascara running down my cheeks and a raspy voice... don't ask. You'll know that I was wrong.
3 comments:
Okay, that's hilarious, and unfortunately a regular occurrence still in my house. UGH. If my voice is raspy, it's for the same reason.
OK, so fill me in on the limits, the tactics...I NEED IT ALL!!!! :) Skyler still responds well to time-out, but I'm a teachable woman. Pointers???
Oh, believe me... I am not saying that I have it all figured out. All I know is that the more involved I get in the emotion of the situation - with any of my kids, at any age - the more intense it all becomes. If I can stay calm, let them have the fit that they seem to need to have, then come back to them when they are calm and talk about what they did wrong, things work out so much better! I honestly think that sometimes they NEED to blow up. I just try to have them go to their room - or away from me - to do it. I used to think that I had to make them MIND me and CALM DOWN. In retrospect, I don't think that that was the right response. It just leads to a cycle of strong emotions - from them and me.
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