Sunday, September 9, 2007

My Granny

I miss my granny. It has been a year since she died, and I miss her. I started missing her before she was gone though. She had Alzheimer's or some other terrible mind altering disease. I don't think that it was ever officially diagnosed. The fact is, she slowly died before our eyes. I missed her more and more each time I saw her those last few years. But one day, a year ago, it was officially over. I have been thinking about her a lot lately. It all stated the other day when I took a drink of water. It tasted like the water at her house. It smelled like it. Isn't that weird how you can be transported to a different time and place because of something as simple as a drink of water? Then, this morning I woke up early and one of my first thoughts was... "I wish that I could smell the smell of her house again. Her laundry." I don't know what made her laundry smell so distinct - maybe it was the water - but there was a certain smell that her towels... and especially her sheets had. I can almost smell it now... if I try really hard. I also wish that I could hear her voice again. I have tried to think of the way other people's voices sound too, and I can't. I really wish that I could.

The day that we had her funeral was a rainy day. A muddy day. So we just had the service at the church then her immediate family went to the cemetery. Her grandson's were to be the pallbearers. My sweet little 6 year old son saw all of the guys doing their duty. Carrying the casket. He wanted to help too. There was no question. I asked my dad if it was okay. He said yes. I asked if I could take a picture. He said yes. It is one of my most cherished pictures that I have ever taken. No thought was made by my little Jack if he should or should not help with this task that might scare some children. To him, it was his duty. To me, it was my honor to watch.

4 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I loved my Grandma Shelton's house. The scent that takes me there is frying sausage in a cast iron skillet. I miss her.

One day, a couple of years after Scott's parents died, he told me he couldn't remember the sound of their voices. That made me so sad for him... I wonder why we can't remember sounds like we can smells?

Emily said...

That is so strange, I have been thinking a lot about Granny recently too. I was just saying "period that's it" and laughed about how that was the end all of conversations for her. Also, when you told me about Cary I immediately thought about the bronze buffalo and Granny saying "isn't that the prettiest thing you ever saw?"- there were so many "prettiest things" in Granny's life, even cheap fake jewelry and garage sale dolls. I miss her too!

Randi~Dukes and Duchesses said...

That's a very touching photo and one that will always be really special to you. It's one of those boy-turned-man pictures ... a sign of great character in Jack.

Mama Jeannie said...

What sweet wonderful thoughts about your Granny and about a little boy's servant heart. I've been thinking about Gran too just lately. I wonder if it is because of the time of year it is? I hadn't thought of that. Just the other day we laughed as I jokingly whined in that Granny sort of voice at Dad's driving, "Daddy, yur scarin' me. Period!" I'm so glad you girls loved her so much. I'm so glad the day came, even in those last few, when it was confirmed; Granny truly had Jesus in her heart and we will see her again.

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