I feel really weird right now. Not mad. Not even sad. Just kind of weird. I am not sure where I belong within my circle of friends anymore. Everything was good - great, really - until many of them had babies at the same time and I did not. That is when it seems the road that I was taking in my life veered sharply away from theirs, and their roads all merged. Now there are many differences in our lives, and I just don't know where I fit into the tapestry that they all share. I try to find common ground with the people that I have shared years of memories with, but I usually walk away feeling like a stranger among friends. An outsider. Thankfully I find much comfort and contentment with my family and in my home. There is nothing more that I would want to do besides be a mommy to these 3 kids that God has given me. I just miss the way things were. I miss my friends.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Amy,
I haven't read your most recent entries until this morning. I am so sorry you are feeling a bit disconnected when you have had so many wonderful friends for so many years. Maybe it's just a passing season. Life does give us twists and turns that we don't really expect or plan on, doesn't it? Maybe it's just the change that having kids and babies growing up before our very eyes brings us to; life getting so darn busy that we don't take time to be together like we should or would like to. Having school age children and little ones makes for a sometimes extremely busy schedule, doesn't it? That's no excuse, but I know in my own life, time seems to fly by at break neck speed, so I'm sure that's the case for so many of you young mommies as well. What are we to do about it? I wish I was there today to give you a mama hug and a good visit... but I guess that still wouldn't be the same as those fun chats with girlfriends and babies all around, would it? Praise God for your sweet and funny children who bring you so much joy. Praise God you have Corey who loves you sacrificially and covers you with kindness. You are a blessed woman my sweet girl. I will pray for a fresh and new connection for you and your girlfriends. We need those relationships, don't we?
I love you, Mama
Yes, I am very blessed.
I am a happy person. A person with feelings and a blog to vent them to. I do reach out to my friends as well as I can. I'm not perfect. Not pretending to be. I am not sitting back saying "poor me"! I am living life happily and fully... just wishing that some things never change. Like I am sure that we all do.
Amy- Please don't be offended by my comment. I wasn't saying you said "poor me". Just sharing my experiences of friends in and out, and how I snapped out of it. I had just checked in on your blog and read your post. You sounded so hurt and sad, a place where I was not too long ago. I was just trying to help you! Wish I could be there to hug you and hey, even meet for lunch. Unfortunately life is full of changes. I know more than anyone how it effects you as a person. Just stay sweet...and keep in touch!
Stacy
Thanks Stacy. I am not sad or hurt. When I wrote this entry, I was just thinking through the way I was feeling at the time. That is what I like to use my blog for - to help me put my feeling down and sort through them. I don't have hard feelings toward anyone. I have kind friends... no one has been malicious. Life is just hard and confusing sometimes. It helps me to get my feelings out... and this blogging thing seems to help me with that.
I'd like to hug your neck and talk over lunch too!
Post a Comment